SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 3, 2007 6:40:16 GMT -5
Now it wasn't normal for Jessica O'Malley to be somewhere other than studying, even on a Friday night. But she'd grudgingly agreed to meet her mother at the small grill, more because her mother just wouldn't take no for an answer. She shook her head, laughing slightly to herself. Isabella had threatened to wear a tasseled polka dotted tube top to school on Monday if she had not. Obviously, she wouldn't really do that, Jess hoped, but she was not at all against the concept of going out with her mother. With any luck, they could eat and then hit a karaoke bar. Chances are, she could get Izzy just tippy enough to go up and belt it out like she had so many times before. It was just the lost study time she was grumbling about. And now her mother was late. She would've been surprised if her she didn't know that Izzy was just a chronically late person. But even so, Jessica was an extremely punctual person, even to the point of being annoying, and Izzy always felt she should point this flaw in Jess's character out any time she got the chance. But Jess could easily take the time to reflect on the last couple of weeks. It was one of the things she liked about herself. Wow, that sentence sounded really odd and self centered. But really, she felt it was one of her attributes that she never was lonely, perfectly happy to sit alone and just think. So that's what she did now. An eyebrow furrowed, she sighed, picking her reddened nail beds. She pondered life and meaning. How very Dr. Phil of her, yes? But in all seriousness, she had a huge amount to think about. First of all, there was a new teacher this year, Nathan Gaudete. Isabella was extremely jumpy whenever his name was brought up, and was careful to leave him out of the gossip about the school. Jess didn't quite understand what the big deal was. He was a new teacher. A new male teacher. But just because he was the opposite sex of her mother didn't mean Izzy always became flustered at the sight of any of her male colleagues. Izzy certainly wasn't a slut. But if it was not that she had a crush on him, then what else made her act so oddly? She'd seen her mother with someone she liked. She wasn't like Jess. She didn't freeze up and become awkward, she always got what she wanted. And sometimes what she didn't, Jess thought with a laugh. Mr. Gaudete seemed perfectly nice, in fact. He was quick with a joke, and rarely resorted to methods of teaching like humiliation and closing the door then screaming at his class. None had seen him blow his lid, but usually teachers that were terribly hard to push over the edge had a much bigger reaction. Nice teachers were like that. They didn't want to be angered, but when you hit their last nerve, it was truly scary. None of his students hoped to see this, ever, and as far as Jess was concerned, she wasn't going to be the one to cause his explosion. But Mr. Gaudete was also odd around her. He'd seen her looking at her... gazing at her, as if he'd never seen anything like her. She was a good student, and a polite teenager, and he liked her for that, but there was something more. He seemed almost fascinated by her face, the way she chewed on her fingernails when she studied. Was there some sort of connection between her mother's jumpiness, and his intrigue? She shook her head. And then there was Galen to think about. It'd been two months since she seen nor heard from him. She was worried slightly. Was he scared of contacting her? Was Maddie keeping him from talking to her? She felt like the third wheel, a sort of outsider in the gang that was Maddie, Galen, and Maya. Maddie hated her. Any time she turned her gaze on Jess's own soft one, it was an expression of pure poison. It was as if Maddie saw Jess as the one factor that stood between her and Galen and bliss. Thought Jessica new Galen never factored her in when he made decisions. He longed for Galen's soft heart shaped face, his dark mop of hair, to be hers to caress, hers to kiss. Though now with Maddie, that could quite possibly not happen. So she swallowed the thought, swallowing so much love with it, and glanced expectantly at the door. Her mother was now a solid half hour late. Jess exhaled suddenly through her nose, sounding like a pout three year old. She was frustrated with her mother, but she was even more frustrated about the lack of communication they seemed to be having. Neither could get through to the other, and when they did only painful thoughts arose. Jess wanted everything back to normal. She hated the complicated life she was living. [[see?? I have a CRAZY amount of muse xD]] [/center]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 3, 2007 11:57:22 GMT -5
"Kendall! NOW!" Izzy's strong, loud voice carried up the stairway in her house. She was standing at the bottom on the stairs, one hand on the banister and the other planted firmly on her hip. It was half past five; Izzy was supposed to meet Jessie for dinner at 5:30. Even if she left the house now, she would still be late. It was her hope that today... tonight, she would be on time.
"Coming!" Kendall's young voice called back down to her mother. Izzy cocked her head to the side and listened. No movement.
"Kendall!" Izzy yelled up the stairs one last time. "You're walking if you don't get your boney butt down here right now!" The babysitter was waiting on Izzy at her own house; she had been since five. She had called two times since five rolled around, wondering if Izzy was still bringing Kendall and Ayden over for the night. Just as she was going to yell up to her youngest daughter again, Izzy heard some movement above her. She waited a little bit and then she heard running across the hallway. Kendall stopped at the top of the stairs, looking down at her mother. Izzy smiled and Kendall ran down. She whizzed past her mother and toward the front closest, snagging her brown fall coat.
"Thank you, sweetie," Izzy said as she followed her daughter outside. Ayden was walking along next to his mother, gripping her hand with his fleece gloves. Kendall opened the backseat door of their Hybrid SUV and climbed in, leaving the door open for Ayden. Izzy picked up Ayden and placed him on his booster seat in the back of the SUV. She made sure that he was buckled in securley (as she did with Kendall) and then closed the door. Finally, they were on their way.
5:45. Traffic was keeping Izzy from seeing her eldest child. Of course she had to be late; of course! She was constantly letting Jessie down... Izzy knew it. She felt tears begin to form in her eyes at the thought. Jessie stuck by Izzy through the thick and the thin, no matter what. Even if Izzy always let her down, Jessie was right there, ready to forgive and forget.
Things had been hectic lately with the O'Malleys; school, work, friends, Galen, Maddie, Cassie... and Kendall. She was starting to act out in class, back-talk, forgeting to do her homework and becoming very angry. Izzy had been sitting back and letting Kendall so what she wanted, observing her behaviors and putting them in a journal. At night, after putting Ayden to bed, she would sit down with Kendall to watch some TV. Whatever Kendall wanted. Sometimes they would play a game or read a book. The child would be doing dine until things went bad; her favorite character in a show or book got hurt or she started losing the game. Normally, Kendall handled the downs in life well. But, now, she was taking a hard turn.
Oh; and there was Nate. Shivers went through Izzy's spine just thinking about him. She loved him; she always had. Even though he stole something from her that she could never get back. In a way, she was glad. If Nate hadn't raped her that night, Jessie wouldn't be here. The thought of Jessie not being beside Izzy made her angry. So she stopped thinking about it. She concentrated on the good things that had been happening lately.
None. Okay... there had to be one! Cassie. Cassie was becoming a different girl. She seemed slightly happier and more optimistic. That pretty was it, besides Ayden striving in Pre-school. Izzy's thoughts had somehow managed to bring her to the mall. She grinned, quickly parked and raced toward the grill where she was meeting Jessie. The wind knocked into her and she ballet flats almost fell off. Upon reaching the mall, Izzy throw open the doors and walked in. She quickly fixed herself and then began a beeline toward the grill.
When she arrived, Izzy saw Jessie waiting outside, pouting and looking royally pissed off. Izzy's heart went out to her daughter. And then she lost it.
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 3, 2007 15:53:50 GMT -5
"You bug me."
Jess frowned at her mother, still slightly pouty. She narrowed blue eyes at her mother's wide worried ones, but her anger melted. Izzy looked so frazzled this time of day. Her hair was slightly mussed, and she looked terribly weary and worn out. It was obvious she didn't have the energy to fight her daughter's antics. Jess's expression melted into concern almost immediately. Her eyebrows almost met in the middle of her forehead, and lines creased in her freckled forehead. Anger at her mother's lateness forgotten, Jess wrapped her arms around her mothers tanned shoulders, pressing her head against her shoulder. Her expression of worry deepened, and she inhaled sharply. Suddenly her problems seemed trivial. She stared at her mother, a mixture of confusion and need to comfort her looking odd on her face. When she finally spoke, her tone was still full of concern, matching her expression completely.
"Mom... are you okay?"
The question was slightly unessary. It was obvious she wasn't exactly having the best day ever. Jess put an arm around Izzy's shoulders, and steered her into the grill where she plopped at the table motioning for Izzy to sit across from her. Thoughts of the fun crazy night Jess had been planning for this time had vanished with her anger. Perhaps later Iz would be in a better mood. But right now she looked like crap. Jess decided to point this out. Hey, who said she was the most subtle person ever?
"You look like crap."
She laughed dryly, but immediately stopped herself, when her mother did not join in. She was obviously not in the mood. Jess had known this originally, but one of the few flaws in their relationship was that often times one poked fun at the other's predicament until one snapped. But then there had always been Dad to turn to. To run to when the girl's relationship became sour. Mentally Blake reminded herself she was angry with her mother, though she really didn't care any more. But it hurt Jess that Izzy was holding back from her. Something was going on between Mr. Gaudete and mom, and if she wasn't willing to share, then Jess would have to persuade her to talk. This prospect was not particularly appetizing. O'Malley girls could be stubborn if they wanted to be. Extremely stubborn. Though none of them would admit it, except perhaps Kendall. She basked in the fact that she was often called incorrigible by many a teacher. Though Kendall was truly bright, just difficult. Maybe one day, when she was off at college, the relationship Kendall had with Izzy would be the same as Jess's relationship with her.
Though probably not, Jess thought with a sigh. When Jess left, it would be horrible for Izzy. But she couldn't not go to college. She was much to bright for that, and Izzy, being a teacher and all, wouldn't allow it. But that was way in the future. She still had years with her mother left. Jess and Izzy had been alone for a while. She'd been old enough when Sal came to remember the days when it had just been her and her teenaged mother. Those days were not bad at all, she recalled. But one thing haunted her constantly. Everybody has something that keeps them up at night. Everybody. And often times you hear about it dramatically. Usually, it is something about their gruesome pasts, and Jess's was no different. Her father. Not Sal, though she'd thought of him as her father for almost as long as she could remember. Her real father. She shuddered when she thought of on what pretenses she was here. Her mother had been hurt beyond belief. But she was still desperately curious about the man who'd given her life.
Well, the only way to coax whatever was going on with Izzy that was making her so miserable, was to avoid the whole coaxing idea altogether. Neither Jess nor her mother were big on the whole beating around the bush deal. Come out and say what you needed to say. Cut the crap and stop ignoring the fact. This went right along with Jess's personality. She wasn't one to save feelings. Her mother and her were alike in that sense. Actually, not just that sense. As I've said many times before, Jess was more like Izzy then she was prepared to admit. And Isabella certainly didn't want Jess to end up like she had. Enough of the babbling incessantly in your head, Blake told her brain sharply, and opened her mouth to speak, focusing firmly on her mother's eyes, those so identical to her own.
"What's going on? Is something... someone... wrong?"
Perfect. She put emphasis on what she was truly interested in. There was one problem. Not only were O'Malley girls good at getting information from each other, even information the other wanted to hide, they were also good at avoiding questions they didn't want to answer. Jess hoped her mother wouldn't use this tactic, and would just open up to her and tell her what was bothering her. [/size]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 3, 2007 19:20:42 GMT -5
Those first three words spoken by Jessie pierced Izzy's heart. She deserved it, though; Jessie was always on time and Izzy could never be. Seeing the hurt in Jessie's eyes made Izzy hate herself even more. But then something changed in Jessie's expression. She seemed concerned, worried... almost sad. Swallowing hard, Izzy took a step toward her daughter and offered a small smile. She was unsuccessful in her attempt to form the cheery, uplifting gesture. Jessie moved swiftly toward Izzy, embracing her in a warm hug. Izzy let herself sag against her daughter and she kissed her hair, loving every ounce of the woman she was becoming.
"Mom... are you okay?"
No. She was not. Or was she? She didn't know anymore. Everything was a large blur; the world was spinning and Izzy couldn't find her footing. Nate had not ceased to escape her mind ever since their encounter. Everything was so confusing now; how could this be happening? Nate had entered her life, left and had reentered. Why couldn't he just go? Hadn't he put Izzy through enough? Stop it! Izzy shook her head and took a deep breath. She couldn't talk about Nate like this... he was Jessie's father, no matter how badly he had hurt her.
Izzy followed Jessie into the grill quietly, glancing around and holding her head up high. She cleared her throat and stopped at the table. Jessie gestured toward the booth across from her and Izzy plopped down, exhausted from the day. The week. The month. The year. Despite her efforts, Jessie's joke did nothing for Izzy. Izzy wanted to laugh, she really did, but she couldn't sum up the energy. She felt too tired... to dragged down. Maybe she was hungry. Or thirsty. Ah; a nice glass of Chardonny sounded wonderful. That was just what she needed - and wanted. Thinking about the white wine made Izzy's heart pound; she began to come alive again. She sighed and looked around, ready to pounce on any waiter or waitress that walked by.
Then Jessie spoke one more time. Izzy wanted to scream at her, but she kept her cool. She looked at Jessie, this spectacular young woman, and shook her head. Then Jessie recieved her full attention.
"Everything is great, sweetheart," she promised, forcing a smile. She knew that Jessie could see right through it, though. And that killed her. Jessie didn't need anymore stress in her life right now. It was bad enough with Galen and school. She didn't need her mothers own demons. "Except for a few things. But, I can manage them. It's just been one Hell of a week!" She laughed and smiled again, her blue eyes twinkling. Near the back of the grill, Izzy heard a loud burst of laughter and then a song on the jukebox came on. Her eyes darted over toward the noise, but then she looked back at Jessie and leaned in toward her daughter.
"Okay," she said, eyes on Jessie, "I am all yours. What's been going on, baby? Tell me everything." Her grin disguised her self-hated image.
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 3, 2007 20:02:00 GMT -5
No your not! Jess wanted to scream, but she kept her mouth shut, only staring somewhat sullenly at her drink. Izzy wasn't all hers. There was something going on, and Izzy wasn't admitting it. She hated to play the bratty daughter card, but she couldn't think of any other way to get her mother to release the information she so desperately clung onto. Jess wouldn't accept her mother's sudden change of mood. She knew her better then that. She glared at the table, and then turned her gaze upward to her mother. Her smile wasn't at all sincere. It was obviously forced, painful for her to press onto her face. She blinked long dark lashes, brushing a strand of hair away from her forehead. She hated this. She hated that there was something Izzy so obviously needed to tell someone about, but she refused to tell her own daughter, her best friend. Jess wanted to be angry at her mother for this, but she was only indescribably sad.
"I wish you'd tell me what was going on."
Her tone was barely above a whisper, and she stared at her hands in her lap as she said this. Her face reflected her emotions, no matter how hard she tried to conceal them. She couldn't hide her feelings of doubt or sadness. They were too close. Was it merely Isabella starting to draw away? Did her mother want to cut her off completely so she wouldn't be hurt years later? Because that was hardly what she wanted! Jess panicked, suddenly afraid that they had almost switched positions. Isabella was the teenager, steadily drawing away from a parent who clung so desperately to their childhood relationship. No, that was different. Right? It was different, it had to be different. Panic shot through Blake and her eyebrows arched, almost disappearing into her bangs. Her nostrils flared again, and her expression became rather desperate. Stupid face. Couldn't hide a damn thing.
Finally, her panic reached a bursting point. She was sick of this. Sick of having to hide every aspect of her life. Sick of having her mother's life hidden from her. She wasn't a child anymore! She didn't need to be protected! She glared at her hands in her lap, her eyes spitting poison. She hated this! She hated it so much! Why was she sitting here, like all was fine and good when inside an emotional tornado ripped through her body violently? Why couldn't she release her emotions?! Why was it all bottled up inside, when once she'd been so free to express every thought?! She was sick of it! So sick of it! She felt her lips purse and realized that she was loosing control just a moment too late.
"I'm SICK of this mom! I don't want you to hide from me! I don't want to have to hide from you! What the hell is going on?! We can't even talk anymore! You know what?! If you don't want to talk FINE! But don't expect me to pretend everything is all good while you go around sulking behind my back!"
She paused for a second, realizing she'd risen and everyone was staring at her.
"I... I have to go."
Grabbing her bag and her coat she walked away, feeling tears form in her eyes. She sniffled. She just needed to get away. Away from here. She walked briskly through the mall, catching more than a few odd looks in her direction. She was a couple miles outside Lakeland and it would be no use taking a bus. Sighting an area of picnic tables, she quickly scrambled over and plopped down. She shivered, her breath rising in mist before her face. She sniffled again, resting her head in her hands and letting the tears flow freely. It'd been a long time since she'd just been able to let go and cry. Izzy had been so fragile. Jess always felt she should be strong for her. But now she could hardly stop the flow. It was as if all the tears she'd resisted over the past eight months were suddenly released from dusty corners, where they had awaited this very lapse of control.
She cradled her head, as her sniffles receded. She composed herself. The cold air felt nice on her face, and she looked up, letting the brisk wind dry the tears from her face. She felt lighter. Perhaps all that water stored up in her tear ducts really had amounted to something rather heavy. But somehow all of the grieving she had restrained to little bouts of sadness had left her. Running away from it all felt good. But it wasn't in the Jessica personality description. She would have to face her problems whether she wanted to or not. But not... not right now. Right now she just sat, nursing her emotional bruises, both new and old. Right now she had a lot of crying to make up for.
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 5, 2007 15:53:12 GMT -5
[[ You look like hell and you just don't care; you're drinking more than you ever drank ]]
God dammit. Couldn't she do anything right? Of course not; life couldn't be that easy, could it? Especially not for Izzy. Sighing, the older woman looked around the grill. Everyone in the resturant seemed to be throwing her odd looks. Her waitress seemed to be hanging back, not wanting to breathe of Izzy for fear that she might break. It might be better, Izzy thought to herself. Breaking and falling apart would be easier. Because then she wouldn't have to hide that everything was not going well and she could finally just be.
Izzy pulled her legs up onto the bench where she was seated and sat Indian-style. She stared at the table, waiting for some human interaction. It came just in the neck of time. Chuck, the bartender, slipped away from the bar and came over to sit across from her. When Izzy looked up, her pushed over a glass of a white drink. Her Chardonny. Izzy reached out and took the wine glass, brought it to her lips and sipped a little bit of the cool wine.
"That sure was something," Chuck said in a low, calm voice. Izzy liked him; he always looked after her when she was at the grill. Why couldn't they be together? Right; Chuck was happily married and had a three-year-old girl at home. Izzy only nodded and took another sip of her drink. She looked Chuck in the eyes for a moment and said, "Keep 'em coming." He didn't nod or even acknowledge her statement. Chuck just got up and walked away.
The feelings of self-loathing and guiltiness arose in the pit of Izzy's already-weak stomach. She hadn't felt like this since Sal had been killed in the plane crash. When Izzy had first heard the news, she didn't believe it. She thought it was some sick joke. She waited for days, not showering or eating, for Sal to walk through the door. But he never did. When Isabella finally realized that Sal was never coming home again and that she would never hear from him or see him again, she was hysterical. She went on a rampage, drinking until she became mean. She then proceeded to ruin the house; the mirrors were broken, hairblowers were thrown and pictures were burned. Jessie was been the one to break her mother's burst of rage. Izzy was in the middle of burning a picture of she & Sal taken earlier that year when Jessie came into her room, worried about the silence echoing through Izzy's door. She had been there for Izzy, helping her mother sober up and comforting her when she was sick in the morning. She took care of Izzy for a few of the following weeks, making her light meals and just being there in the middle of the night when Izzy would wake up from a nightmare, crying. It was Jessie, too, that urged Izzy to get back to teaching and start seeing a therapist.
But, yet... why was it so hard for Izzy to be there for Jessie? She was the mother after all. She could take care of Kendall & Ayden just fine. But, she always found it much more of a challenge to "take care" of Jessie; why? Jessie was just a young girl herself. Sniffing, Izzy tilted her head back and blinked back the tears that she felt rising in her throat. She downed the rest of her wine and looked over at the bar. Chuck was watching her fight off her demons. He sent Izzy's waitress over with another glass of Chardonny. Izzy took that glass and drank half at one time. She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands, which were placed on her lap. Izzy reached up to her face with one tentive hand and brushed back her long, dark hair. She sighed once more and grabbed her wine glass. Taking a small sip, Izzy thought of where Jessie was. What she was doing. What she was thinking. Was she angry? Was she sad? Was she going to come home tonight?
The thought of losing Jessie punctured Izzy. She lost breath, feeling like she had just gotten the wind kicked out of her. What would happen... if she told Jessie what was wrong? She had always been able to trust her. She couldn't, no. Too much hurt and damage would come from it. Izzy shook her head and closed her eyes.
"I need you," she whispered to no one, but... to someone.
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 6, 2007 8:16:54 GMT -5
The tears had long since been dried from her face, but Jess still sat outside, the cold air feeling sharp in her lungs. She didn't want to cry anymore, but she could hardly stem the flow. She realized this was probably just a break in the constant crying, but she took advantage of it, wiping her eyes and sniffling inward. Now she just felt bad about walking out on her mother, who had looked like she was borderline in tears when she had first arrived. And then she was angry at that emotion. Why did she have to be guilty? What had she done wrong? Her mother was obviously concealing information from her, that she should have been able to release. And additionally, what teenager felt guilty after being in a fight with her mother? The type that also thought of her mom as her best friend, and suddenly was hurt when her best friend decided to be more like a mom and conceal something from her 16 year old daughter. A person can't be a mom and a best friend, Izzy had said tearfully the last time they fought. Sometimes a slight switch into mom mode was necessary. She gazed thoughtfully around the parking lot, and at the steady flow of people that trickled into the mall. She checked her watch. It was only 7 o' clock.
"Jess?"
Jess looked up, her face reflecting her feelings of confusion. Jogging towards her was both the very worst, and the very best person that could possibly be coming. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. His blue eyes and dark mess of hair were unmistakable. She turned her head, now smiling. His strong sisterly instincts had probably drawn him here, she thought with a laugh. How had he known...? Before she disappeared into some extremely long and questioning thought process, she realized that he was waiting for verification that she really was who she was before he came over and realized that he'd made a complete fool of himself by going to talk to a stranger.
"Galen. Hi. Um... what are you doing here?"
She fought to get the words out, and she wiped her eyes furiously again, trying to get all clues that she was crying away. But he noticed before she was successful. Stooping down until he was close to her face, he gazed at her, his face darkly concerned in the shadowed parking lot. He swung around to sit next to her, and she swallowed, staring straight ahead, refusing to look him full in the face. When she did, she immediately regretted it. He was so genuinely concerned about her, she was unsure of what to do. So the one thing that she'd basically been doing for a half hour occurred. She began to cry. And he put his arms around her and held her gently, stroking her hair like an uncle. She rested her head on his strong shoulder, and sniffled, feeling tears fall down her face and onto his jacket.
"Well... tonight... tonight my mom and I were supposed to go out and have fun, but she's really distraught and she won't tell me why, and she's never hidden anything from me, and I hate it and I don't know... I just wish she would tell me what's going on."
Galen nodded, not even looking surprised that she was suddenly spilling her guts to him. He just listened, that grave expression never leaving her face. It was as if he understood everything she was going through. All of the confusion, the hurt. Did this reflect on his relationship with Maddie? She hoped not. He seemed so happy with her, so right with her, that even though Jess disliked Maddie, she grudgingly accepted the relationship because Galen was so happy. But Galen just nodded, still stroking her hair, and letting her bury her head in his jacket. Jess found herself hoping that Galen really didn't understand, and that he was just being supportive. If he really did know, it would mean he was in pain as much as she was. Either way, the effect was calming and her tears slowly ebbed away again. Galen took the chance to talk to her, in his low comforting voice.
"Communication errors suck. Trust me, I'm experiencing a big one right now. But just like I plan to push through it, you have to too. You and your mom have an extroadinary relationship. I know people who wouldn't dream of being civilized to their mothers. And I want you to remember that she's your mother. Sometimes she has to act like a mother, and not your goofy pal. If she wants to conceal something from you, I'm sorry Jess, but there's really nothing to can do about it. As is, your much more in the loop then most kids your age."
Jess nodded thoughtfully. Despite his words, and his precautions, she still found his presence extremely comforting. She sighed and rested her head back on his shoulder. So she might never have Galen for the boyfriend she had wanted him for. But she loved him so as a surrogate older brother. He seemed to take care of her, when Izzy couldn't. And she was so thankful for that, she began to regain her serenity.
Nate Gaudete was cruising the long marble tiled halls of the mall looking for a place to eat. He was not usually in the going out mood, but tonight he had a lot to think about, and he didn't want to do it like some pathetic old man in the darkness of his home. And now the sudden urge of barbecue was on his mind, and the first place he spotted he planned to make a beeline for. Ah yes, let the beelining begin. He changed direction, striding purposely toward the open door of the small grill. When he entered, the loud atmosphere immediately swallowed him up, as he stared around for an empty table. His eyes fell on someone familiar. There Isabella O'Malley, the good girl in high school sat, drinking a glass of Chardonnay. She finished the one she was on almost immediately, and was brought another. Oh my goodness. He thought he would never live to see the day when Izzy got drunk. But here she was. He walked over, smiling slightly.
"Hey stranger, mind if I sit?"[/center]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 6, 2007 19:17:49 GMT -5
The cool, white wine slide easily down Izzy's slim throat. When she was a teenager, she was shy and prude, never attending any social event thast involved drinking and smoking. Now, it seemed so natural for her to be drinking. She wasn't addicted, no, but she was used to drinking by now - and getting drunk. She hated the hangovers and other side effects after a fun night out, but Izzy really enjoyed... enjoying herself. She looked around the grill again, this time noticing that less eyes were glancing her way. Chuck, at the bar, looked at her just as Izzy's eyes skimmed over him. She raised her glass of Chardonny to him and smiled. The wine was beginning to get to her head; she was feeling a little loopy.
A deep, handsome voice rang out behind her and Izzy turned to the side. Her eyes widened at the sight of him. Nate was standing there, smiling down at her. Izzy's breath caught in her throat and she swallowed. She quickly took another sip of her wine. This time, thought, it burned while the liquid ran down into her stomach. This was so awkward; before, it would have been Nate drinking. Izzy would have been home, studying or watching TV. Or, waiting outside for Nate when he'd had enough to drink and when his eyes were as red as Christmas lights. Izzy could only stare up at Nate. She was embarrassed yet happy and yet... disgusted. Wow. Was that even possible? She finally nodded, answering his question at first silently.
"Sure. Sit," she invited, waving her hand at the booth opposite of her. When Nate sat down across from her, Izzy still only stared at him. He had grown up so much; he looked so reserved. But when she looked deep into his eyes, Izzy found the old Nate. His wild, changed side. The animal in him had been tamed, but she could see him begging to burst through. Maybe not to be an not a very nice person like he had been, but maybe to just throw back a few and have a good time. Not let it get too crazy... too out of hand. What if that happened and Izzy couldn't stop him from his crazy roller coaster ride? What if Nate let go again, but this time didn't have the chance to redeem himself?
What if she kissed him?
Whoa; wait. Where the hell did that come from? No; she could not possibly be thinking that. No way in hell; this was Nate. He had forced her into a situation she had not wanted to be in. She couldn't go kissing him, could she? No. NO WAY. Not ever. It was too much. Stop it!
"Want a beer?" she burst out with, looking away from him. She took a sip of her wine, but then decided to down the whole thing. "I'm buying." She threw Nate an easy smile, hoping not to lead him on. Or did she want to? What was she wearing? Thinking about her clothes, Izzy took a sharp breath and went over her outfit in her mind. She had on jeans & her dark-colored rainbow cashmere sweater. Nothing too showy or low-cut. Good. It needed to stay that way. Izzy's waitress came over and slid her another Chardonny. Izzy glanced at Nate, afraid of his expression.
"I was supposed to meet Jess here tonight," she said suddenly, forgetting to whom she was talking with. She trailed the edge of her wine glass with her index finger, staring into the drink and losing all sense of reality. "Well, I mean, I did. But, we got into this stupid fight and she left. She just walked out... after, of course, acting hysterical and having all eyes on us." She scoffed and she suddenly became mad. And sad, all at the same time. She sniffed and took a swig of her wine, trying to drown her troubles. Okay: maybe she did have a problem. Possibly. Izzy looked up and stared at Nate once more, this time trusting him with her life. How had she changed so suddenly?
"I need her, Nate," she cried, the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. "I need my daughter! She can't just do that; she can't just walk out on me! It's not fair...." Izzy dropped her head, her hair falling forward and hiding her face. She closed her pretty blue eyes and wished for someone to hold her. She wanted someone to tell her that it would all be okay, even though she knew it wouldn't be. Still, the prospect of it was just enough to get her through he night. "I'm screwing it all up; she's mad at me because I can't talk to her. I don't know how. I can't say the words, because it hurts me. And I don't want it to hurt her, too." Sniffing and attempting to blink back more teasrs, Izzy looked up into Nate's glistening eyes. Pieces of hair stuck to her wet face and she worked her jaw, trying to decide what to do next.
She didn't do anything. Instead, she only stared at Nate. And wished all of her pain on him, for he was the one who had caused it in the beginning.
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 7, 2007 19:16:47 GMT -5
[[she already has kissed him, assuming this happened after their last meeting xD]]
He nodded smiling at her. He was almost fascinated by her heavy intake of alcohol. Isabella O'Malley, sitting before him, getting drunk. Who knew. And further more, she was getting drunk because her sixteen year old daughter had left her alone at the grill. The absurdity of it all almost stopped him from being comforting, but he swallowed his smile and watched her as tears balled up in her eyes. It hurt him so much to see her so sad. It was astounding how much affect another person's emotions had on his own happiness. It was as if all was good in the world if Izzy was happy, but he fount himself profoundly sad when she was sad. It was even worse if he had somehow been the cause of some of these emotions. This hurt him more then anything. So much of this was his fault. The fact that she'd been so young having Jess, and that had added to how close they were. Perhaps it wouldn't be ripping her heart at the seams quite as much if they weren't so much like best friends. Suddenly it seemed as if he was the source of all problems in world. He wanted to leave her, to stop himself from causing her any more sadness and confusion. But he couldn't draw himself away.
He accepted his beer when it had come. He'd long since realized that he could consume alcohol without becoming alcoholic. He'd really never been an alcoholic in the deepest sense of the word anyway. Yes, he'd constantly been drinking or hungover. But he didn't need to drink. He could've stopped himself at any time. He realized he'd willingly subjected himself to all the pain that he had inflicted. It wasn't as if he couldn't control his alcohol intake. But this had made the healing process just that much easier. Without the option of alcohol, he stopped himself. He took a long draft, and watched her carefully as she talked. She seemed to be thinking to herself, realizing how awkward the air was between them. They weren't in high school for goodness sake. It shouldn't be this weird. He was determined to make everything normal between them. She was so anguished. It was obvious how much Izzy despised herself for her daughter's departure. He blinked, feeling his heart ripped out as she spoke. It was painful for him to watch her so miserable, when if it hadn't been for him, she'd have been with two children rather than three. Two children with such an age difference, that it was much less horrible when they fought with their mother.
He bent close to her as she stared up at him, tears glistening in her eyes still. Her cheeks were red, strands of hair plastered to her face from the salty water that cascaded from her eyes. He put a finger under her chin, lifting her entire face up, so she was looking upward again. His green eyes were solemn, boring into her own blue ones. He'd never felt so sure about anything in his life, when he spoke next. Her soft porcelain skin was soft under his touch. He drew his finger away once she focused her eyes on him again.
"Isabella... you are an amazing mother. A better parent then I could ever hope to be," he said sadly, his gaze still solemn. "Jess is a teenager. Teenagers do this. I know that Jess is different, and the relationship you two have is amazing, but no relationship is all good. We all have ups and downs. Some more ups then downs, but that only makes the downs harder to get through."
He was close enough to her tear strewn face to see every tear clinging to each eyelash. He ran his eyes over her face, taking in every aspect. More than anything, he wanted to comfort her, to tell her that everything was okay and that he would make all the monsters of life go away. Love could do that. But he stayed still his expression thoughtful. And he talked like he knew what he was talking about. And maybe he did, to a point. But he couldn't imagine the feeling of misery knowing your own child hated you. Or maybe he did, he thought thinking sadly once more of Jess. But how could he be hated if he wasn't known of? Of course. Izzy had probably told stories. Jess probably retained some of Izzy's hatred that she'd projected on to her daughter. He was a bad person for still loving her the way he did. But he couldn't control his emotions any more then he could control the weather or say... how well the Red Sox played that day. Nate swallowed, his breathing coming in short drafts. She was so sad... so very sad. He could hardly stand it. [/center]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 16, 2007 7:16:20 GMT -5
[[ Young girl, don’t cry. I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall. Young girl, it’s alright. Your tears will dry; you’ll soon be free to fly ]]
Isabella shyly finished off her drink. She forgot who was sitting before her as another drink was set down in front of her. Izzy felt eyes boring into her and she glanced over at the bar; Chuck was giving her a worried look. She cleared her throat and pulled her wine closer to her, staring deeply into the white drink. It wasn't really white, which always got her. It was more like a tan color; so why it white? The grapes, she supposed.
The tears continued to fall down her face and she wondered why Nate was being so quiet. She closed her eyes for a moment and then felt a strong, firm hand on her chin. Izzy's blue eyes flew open and Nate lifted her face up. There he was, right in front of her... so close. She wanted so badly to lean in and kiss him. His face was only inches away from her and his lips looked so... comforting. And then he was gone. He had settled back down into his seat and his mouth was moving, talking to Izzy. She could barely hear him, though. All she could think about was their kiss in her classroom and kissing him again. Now.
She shook her head slightly, mainly to clearly the thought away. Izzy reached up and removed the wet hair from her soft face. She continued to stare at Nate, but barely registered what he was saying. She knew it was about Jessie, but she didn't really want to discuss that right now. She knew she had to, though. But, chances were... Jessie was already hitching a ride home right now. Wait, now; that's not her daughter. She was probably aimlessly wandering around the mall. Should Izzy go after her?
Shaking her head, Izzy began to speak. "Nate, I don't know what to do." Izzy's mouth moved, but barely a sound came out. She did this on purpose, hoping that Nate would lean in towards her... close enough so that she could kiss him. And then run away, on a frantic mission for her daughter. "Should I go after her? I don't think so, but I want to. I need to. What if she wants me to and I don't? Then I'll let her down, again. I can't do this anymore."
Dropping her head once again, Izzy sighed. She took a sip of her drink, now looking to drown her feelings. She was so confused right now; what the hell was happening? [[OOC: Yesh... it sucks. Sorry!!]]
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 16, 2007 19:05:08 GMT -5
He shook his head, leaning forward once more. She seemed somehow comforted by him being close to her, and whatever made her slightly less anxious was fine by him. She was so close. Much too close. He could see the freckles in her sapphire eyes, every blemish on her pale skin. He felt himself hesitate, but her motives seemed so obvious. He could see the fire dancing behind her expression, but also the blurriness. She was drunk. Well, rather tipsy anyway. He knew this because, partly because he knew her so well and partly because the bar tender was looking shifty. Maybe he would begin exercising his right not to serve fairly soon. He himself hadn't even downed half his beer. Maybe she wasn't making decisions with her head tonight. Maybe he wasn't either. But whatever was going on, he felt so right, so close to her. When he spoke again it was barely above a whisper. He raised his hand to caress her cheek.
"I think she needs time... time to get over herself. And then everything... everything will be okay."
His lips moved, but almost nothing came out. He almost believed it. He almost believed everything would be okay. Atleast, right now, it felt like it just might be. He realized he was no longer controlling his actions. It must've been somewhat like when Blake had stormed out. There was not a thought in her head except for anger for her mother. Now Nate was feeling just the opposite. Love pulled at his heart like some undeniable urge that he could not ignore. It was like an immense warmth that filled up his entire body, fueling all of his actions. He almost wanted to say he couldn't be liable for anything he did near her. It was like she cast a spell on him. A spell that had broken their friendship so long ago. But now he was different. He was more adult, able to own up to his actions. He wasn't a juvenile delinquent forcing his friend to do something she didn't want to do. The look on her face told him that. What was the look on her face? He focused on her sharp features, taking it all in. She looked comforted, happy to have another human being so close to her.
There was so much to ponder in the split seconds before his actions. Jess. He had walked into a family. He'd walked into a family and been the force that screwed it up. No, he didn't screw it up. He would fix it all. He would fix it all for Izzy. Even if it meant working his arse off. There was no use in wanting, wishing, hoping. His life had taught him that he had to go out and get it. It was not enough to want to be a better person, to stop making the mistakes he'd started making so long ago. He had had to truly dedicate himself. Once more, he found his mind on Jess. His eyes softened when he thought of her, a reaction similar to the one when he thought of her mother. Though it wasn't the same. It was a different force that caused him to be so over protective of his daughter. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd never been there for her, and might never be depending on what Izzy wanted. Some might call it fatherly instincts. Whatever it was, he was constantly trying to avoid it. Whatever Izzy wanted him to be to Jess... a teacher... a pal, whatever. That was what shape he would assume. This thought only brought him back to the present, where Izzy's face was, mere inches from his.
And then he kissed her. He pressed his lips into hers, feeling the warmth of the kiss. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. He felt her tears on his face but he didn't care. In fact, he didn't have a care in the world. The only thing he thought, the only thing he felt was her lips and his own. In fact, their entire surroundings disappeared. No grill, no shifty-eyed bar tender, look warily at Izzy's alcohol intake. No people staring at his sudden action. It was Izzy and himself. The only two people in the world. She was the only person who could make him feel this happy. She'd always been this way. A light in the darkness. He closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss. He never wanted to break apart... ever.
________________________________________
"... And I swear she was totally flirting with this guy the entire time and he had no idea what she was doing!"
Jess laughed, and Galen snorted, shaking his head. Different kinds of tears ran down each of their faces now. They'd been sitting outside for near and hour and Galen had slowly comforted Jess. She was still sad about the argument but she didn't feel so lonely anymore. Both swallowed another bout of laughter, but suddenly Jess's smile was sad. For almost the entire time they'd been speaking of her mother, the hilarious times the two had had together. It made her sad to think of them in a past tense, but also happy to relive them. Would they ever truly have times like that again with Izzy constantly tying herself in knots? It was obvious she needed to say something, but for some reason she was hiding that information. She sighed, eyes downcast, and Galen sensed the sudden change in her emotion, tossing a comforting arm around her shoulder. Jess felt tears develop in her eyes, and when her expression broke, Galen immediately spoke.
"Do you want to go inside and get something to eat?"
Jess nodded, and he grasped her hand, steering her towards the sliding doors of the mall. She sniffled, and once more he let her rest her head against his shoulder until she was okay again. He was so thoughtful. So sweet. He had to be the best fiance ever. Maddie was a fool for believing that he didn't really love her. When Galen loved, he loved to the deepest corners of his heart, with none spared. In the time they'd sat together on the bench, Galen had also explained the dilemma he and Maddie were going through. He was confident they'd work it out, but Jess was worried for him. The relationship that had caused him so much joy for so long? She could hardly believe they were having problems. She'd reminded him what he'd said about tough times and how you had to get through them. He'd wholly agreed. He was so sure about how right he and Maddie were together. Jessie was sure she'd never felt that sure in her life. She shook her head to herself, and followed Galen into the mall.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Nov 21, 2007 22:07:57 GMT -5
Izzy shook her head at Nate's response. What did Jessie have to get over? She decided to try not to think about it; it was too painful and she wanted to have a good night. Izzy melted into Nate's hand and stared at him, her blue eyes shining. She scanned his face with her eyes and took in all of his features. They were so familiar; she remembered him staring at her when they were younger. His younger face flashed before her eyes... he had matures so much. He was different now; how could she not have noticed it before? She always jumped to conclusions, never giving anyone a chance. But, Nate had hurt her in so many ways before. It was hard to let that go. But, here he was, before her, gentle and understanding... asking for forgiveness.
Izzy felt and saw Nate getting closer to her, but she barely processed it. It wasn't until his lips were held up against her own that she finally was able to react. Her body went tense at first, horrible images speeding through her mind. Nate holding her down... kissing her neck... telling her how much he needed her... hurting her until tears ran down her face. But he was being so gentle and calm now. She relaxed and closed her eyes, kissing him back. She sank into his lips, pushing him back. Izzy leaned forward to keep contact with his mouth. She placed one hand on the table and one behind his head, pressing him into her.
For a moment, everything disappeared. There was no clatter of silverware against dishes, no chatting, no whispering, no music playing. In fact, it was almost as if Izzy and Nate were alone... enjoying each other's company and making up for lost time. Suddenly, Izzy felt the need for oxygen and broke apart from Nate. She pressed her forehead again his and stared into his inviting eyes. She took a deep breath and smiled mischeviously.
Chuckling a little bit, Izzy began to speak. "That was something," she whispered. "I could certainly use a bit more of that." She smirked and leaned back from Nate, digging into her pocket. Izzy pulled for thirty dollars and threw it down on the table. She then stood up, grabbing her purse, and took Nate's hand. "Let's go back to my place." She grinned.
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Nov 22, 2007 13:06:35 GMT -5
When Izzy broke away, Nate felt as if a part of him had disappeared. All of the warmth in the world vanished and his surroundings were shockingly present again. But then her next words reheated his heart. It had never really cooled, actually, he thought with a laugh. Chills ran down his spine, thinking of her hand on the back of his neck. Something he'd never thought would happen, had been. He was confused. But surely not as confused as her. And right now what he needed to do was be Isabella's rock. Give her what she wanted and needed. He'd betrayed her trust too many times to do anything otherwise. He thought of the school. The place that had both brought them together and then torn them apart. What if he'd never met Izzy that fateful day in 4th grade? What if he'd gone through his entire life never experiancing her friendship? Would he be half the man he was today? The honest answer was probably not. He would've always gone down a bad road as a teenager, whether Izzy was present or not. It was the nature of being a loner for most of his elementary and middle school years, and then being sick of it in high school. But he realized now he'd never really been a loner. He'd always had her. He had someone who accepted him. And he'd ruined that with one night.
When what she's said finally registered in his brain. He felt a smile light his face, and had no recollection of him putting it on. He had so little control of his emotions these days. He almost literally wore his heart on his sleeve, and it truly depended on how she was feeling that day whether or not he was happy. He had re-learned to read his friend's emotions. He could tell when Kendall had been particularly difficult that day. He could tell when she was pleased with the way she looked or the way the day was going. He knew her so well. He'd known her well before. But now he knew her as the adult Izzy. Not the teenaged one. The two were so different. The adult Izzy wasn't afraid of anything. She was so strong, keeping her entire family going alone. He wished he could be as strong as her. But he was tired of hiding his emotions. Now that both had got their feelings out in the open, he felt lighter. He didn't feel bad for gazing at her face, completely fascinated before he answered her.
"I'm driving," he said, sliding out after her, his hand still in hers.
He was vaguely worried about her state, but she seemed so sure of herself he couldn't help but go along. The walk to parking lot seemed to go by extremely quickly, even though they were deep within the mall. His thoughts were blurred, and he didn't give them time to wholly form. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to happen, but it was obvious she had some sort of motive. She pulled him through the mall by the hand, her grin widening as she went. People stared, but he didn't care. He was with his best friend, and nothing could bring him down from this high. They burst out the mall door, the cold air feeling good on Nate's skin. Izzy seemed to go faster and faster, until Nate was almost jogging to keep up with her. He sped up, grasping her other hand and making her stop and look straight at him. He smiled, a wide, genuinely pleased smile.
"Izzy... it's okay, slow down. We've got all night."
His tone was comforting, as he gazed down at her, loving every second of it. This time he took the lead, over to his green Honda. He opened the door for her and slid into the driver's seat. Starting the ignition he couldn't help stealing glances at her every so often. He hoped this wasn't a dream. He hoped she was really sitting next to him, expectantly waiting for him to pull out of the parking lot. So he did just that. With a bump, they were out on the highway, heading back towards Lakeland and Izzy's house. Nate knew her address. All teachers generally knew each other's addresses, but he never had thought it would come in this handy. Now don't get me wrong, he wasn't a stalker. But he'd been with her for quite a lot of her life. Don't tell him he didn't know anything about her. He knew everything about her. Everything about her from the ages of 7 to 16. That period of time suddenly seemed strangely short. So lacking. Why had he been so stupid?
Finally, he pulled into Izzy's driveway. It seemed as if it had taken too long. He just wanted a chance to focus all of his thoughts on her, rather than that stupid driving thing. He turned the ignition off, glancing sideways at her. He turned towards her, his expression hesitant. It was so clear he didn't want to make her do anything she didn't want to do. He leaned forward, still hesitating slightly to see if she was still on board. But then he kissed her once more, more passionately than before. He put his hand on her cheek once more, running it over her soft skin. He loved the feeling of her lips against his. He loved the feeling of being so close to her. Suddenly he had no idea what he'd done before he'd arrived in Lakeland. How had he survived knowing he'd hurt her so bad and that she'd hated him? How could he have possibly gone on living life? It would take years for him to completely forgive him. There was still lingering hurt for both. But this was a start. And a pretty good start if you'd ask him.
[/center]
|
|
|
Post by d o l c e on Dec 4, 2007 20:03:40 GMT -5
Izzy grinned slyly at Nate as he demanded to drive. She smiled up at him when he opened her door and then hopped into the car. She was buckling up just as Nate slid himself into his green Honda. It was weird to be in the passenger seat... especially with Nate. But it felt good. It was so wrong... so dirty... so her. If her parents found out, they'd flip. Izzy had never told them exactly who had raped her, but they figured it out after a while. To this day, they hate Nate and everything about him. Despite Jessie looking nothing like him, they cannot bare to look at her. It breaks Izzy's heart everytime they visit; she can't even imagine how Jessie must feel.
Leaning over to his ear, Izzy whispered, "I'm an excellent driver." She burst into giggles shortly after and only stopped when they arrived at her house. When Nate stopped his car and killed the engine, Izzy looked over at him. Nate was staring at her and she smiled back, gazing deeply into his eyes. She never wanted this night to end; she wanted it to keep going on.... What a wonderful night it was.
When Nate pushed his lips against hers, the night only seemed to get better and their once-broken relationship mended that much more. Izzy was not taken aback at all; she wanted this. Badly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his face closer to hers. She leaned back in her seat, pulling him down with her. His smell filled her head and swarmed all around her; he was amazing. This man... my, how he had changed. It was amazing. Izzy nipped Nate's bottom lip and then gently slipped her tongue into his mouth. Her blue eyes were closed, but she could only imagine Nate's face. This once-prude girl... now a woman who French kisses and gets drunk? What a crazy world we live in.
Breaking for air, Izzy put her hand on Nate's chest and pushed him back a little bit. She stared deeply into his eyes, devilishly grinning at him. She then brought his head back down toward her face, but moved her lips toward his ears.
"Let's go in the house," she whispered seductivly. "There's plenty more where that came from."
|
|
SPOTLESS ™
Full Member
[ amanda peet icon credit: a-peet.org ]
Posts: 236
|
Post by SPOTLESS ™ on Dec 22, 2007 8:31:07 GMT -5
Nate nodded, grinning, and followed her out of the car. _______________________________________________________
Sunlight streamed in through the window when Nate awoke. For a second, he was disoriented, and he blinked rapidly, trying to get blurriness out of his eyes so he could think more clearly. Upon further realization, he decided he was not hungover, and it was safe to make quick movements. Twisting around in the sheets, he turned over, and almost yelled. There next to him, fast asleep with her face squished against her bare arm, was Isabella. Even in this unsightly position, her beauty overtook him. He rested his head back on the pillow, gazing at her with wonder. What exactly happened last night, he wasn't quite sure anymore. But somehow he'd ended up in Izzy's bed, with her slumbering peacefully beside him. He had no desire to awake her, so he clambered out of bed and over to his coat, trying to make as little noise as possible. Grabbing a book, he tip toed back over and slipped under the sheets once again, glancing at her every so often above the text. ________________________________________________________
It turned out running away from your mother took a lot more effort than Jessie had first intended. Galen had offered to let her stay at his house until she felt stable enough to return home, but she had declined, opting to wander around a little bit and then take the bus home. Her tears had long since gone, but she still held a certain contempt for the mother who wouldn't tell her what was going on in her life, even when normally that was all the spoke of. She was also frustrated at herself. Now that most of the anger had vanished, she was just sad and guilty for abandoning Izzy in the state that she'd been in. She sighed, deciding there was nothing more she could do to put off her arrival at her house. She wondered vaguely what Izzy was doing right now. Was she even home? She checked her watch. It was half past twelve. She was probably home. Izzy knew that sometimes Jess needed her space, like in this particular situation. But not this much space. Jess would head home.
Jess caught a bus, and soon it dropped her off in downtown Lakeland. Her breath rose in mist before her, as she walked slowly and silently down the abandoned pavement. Her feet seemed to lead her without any input from her head. Her head was somewhere completely different. She was thinking. About everything. Galen, her mother, Cassy, and her increasing depression, and Mr. Gaudete. There was so much to think about in this tiny town. So much drama, so much craziness. She felt her muscles being pulled on with exhaustion, and she drew a relieved breath when her house finally approached. She let herself in, walking silently across the foyer and up the stairs. She would not disturb her mother, who was most likely asleep.
Jess collapsed into her bed, and fell asleep almost before her head hit the pillow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow was a good time to apologize. _________________________________________________________
The next morning, Jess awoke suddenly, rather at peace with the world. But then the previous night's events came rushing back at her, and once again she was laden with guilt. Her jeans and sweatshirt had not been the smartest sleeping idea, and had pressed into her skin, making red marks and pinching her pale legs. Dark hair was knotted in every way possible, as she pulled herself up from her pillow, and realized she'd even forgotten to remove her blue polka dotted rain boats from her aching feet. What she decided to draw from all of this was that she was not a night person, and much preferred studying late to being out late.
She rubbed her eyes, and heaved herself out of her bed, stumbling on her backpack which she'd stupidly left out the night before. Regaining her balance she swung out of her room, and made her way up the stairs, waking up a little bit as she walked. For a moment, she wondered where her mother's room was, but then she mentally shook herself, and prepared herself for what she was about to do. First she knocked, and then she slowly creaked the door open sticking her head inside slowly.
"Oh my GOD! What the hell is going on here?!"
Green eyes met her own. She recognized them, and fought the urge to exclaim again. He jerked the sheets up to his chin.
Shit, hey Izzy?!"
He called, his tone just as surprised as hers was. Jess wanted some quick explaining done. But first her mother had to wake up.
[/center]
|
|